Revenge in Failure of Love = Mental Health situation. How serious we are?

Hello Again, Couldn't resist writing on this topic. We south Asian's are too much aware of our family pride which led us to ignore the seriousness of mental health of a person in family.

Now wait...Do not ignore. We do have many individuals among us in daily life who has serious psychological  problem with people whom they doesn't even live with. We know the problem but we ignore. But it can make serious problem for surroundings. I separated the discussion in two part for better understanding. It is a common topic but always we over looked it. We only take a look in this issue when we are affected. Yes, I am talking about Revenge of a Failed Lover.

Part - 1

I wanted to write about it long back but couldn't gather enough words because my vocabulary is not enough rich in medical terms. So I had to go through for terms in internet. Couldn't find much. So thought why don't I just create it!!! LLRS - Love Loser's Revenge Syndrome. It is one of the most common Sadistic Personality Disorder of some people in our society. Here basically I am talking about the "Victim" means this psycho person him/her self.

Let me introduce you with the term definition first. It can attack both male/female unknowingly. It's starts just with an intense love affection from one side and attack starts with other person's denial. Sounds complicated? No. In simple word this is a psychological problem starts with a word "No" from the person Victim expects a guaranteed "Yes".

One my friend shared me her problem last year. She became sick literally for different kind of mental torture in daily life for all of a sudden and had to admit in a hospital for severe stress attack. The story behind her illness made me surprised! How brutal people can be in LLRS! You may find it simple but later I found that, it's actually very violent. My friend was located far away from home for her career. She is a 30+ adult, smart girl. All of a sudden after moving to the place she got introduced with a fellow colleague and after spending some time they found each other perfect. Now, everybody got a past. Nobody need to take it seriously until someone already knows, it should be taken seriously and must inform the new partner. My friend's Boy friend had a friend who were common female friend of both. This 2nd girl when my friend changed her status in Facebook that she is involved with him, started to create different problem like making blank calls on my friend's phone & calling her names, weird emails etc. First it was stuck in to such small stalkings but later she involved 2 more adult couple who were not insane but misguided and talk trash to my friend without any reason. This couple was a common friend of both my friend and that girl. My friend didn't understand first where these problems were created from but slowly misunderstanding was rising between she and her boy friend. She found several times his phone was busy or he avoided meeting her or simple courtesy calls/texts. Simply she thought may be he is no longer interested in her. One fine day she thought this problem should be out spoken. she called him, and ask to meet to discuss something. Some how the difference was created well by then so the Boy Friend made a mistake telling this meeting schedule to the other girl. That girl immediately called my friend and said "You know he was never loyal to you because he was already mine. If you don't believe just come to this place at this time". My friend was surprised because the place she mentioned just beside were they suppose to meet and time was just 30 minutes before!!! The mistake here my friend did, she should have spoke to the boyfriend with out any notice. Because here she found later that her boy friend actually loves her but his thoughts were manipulated and situation was dramatically doctored!! For a month or more my friend got taunted & insulted by that couple and her surrounding relatives friends just because that girl started to spiel poison before my friend was alert. Huge misunderstanding on that day of scheduled meeting threw my friend to hospital for stress & nervous system breakdown. She faced a mild stroke! Apparently after some time my friend broke up with her boy friend because it was a tremendous shock and hugely hazardous for her. Later again she got back in to normal life may be with some wound which will take time to heal.

Now that girl who was actually so sick mentally, because my friend's Boy friend declined her once before She got married!! All the consequences she created just to take a revenge to cope up with the go down situation which she felt couple years back for nothing! She kept the wound green. Even though she had a husband but she got herself stuck with one "No" and destroyed peace of more than 2 people's life. What exactly she got from that? NOTHING. Nope, it's not self satisfaction. Because if you think in proper way, it was not naturally created situation which may be her heart wanted to punish him from where she got declined from. The revenge should have been on the guy, not my friend. She got nothing to do with my friend. So basically that girl created some synthetic situation for the guy but he is now moving on again, all these drama may affected some time of life but not for ever. Because unconsciously she thinks watching another girl breaking like her will give her satisfaction! Well let me tell you, girls are by born strong personality & easy with coping up. So one day a stronger girl than my friend will reach in this guy's life and he'll settle down anyway. So basically She will remain a Loser. This guy will go ahead and again will find somebody else asap. It will remain a complicated cyclic psychological issue for that girl for ever. All she needs a trigger. So actually She's the Victim here. 

Solution is, since these melodramatic revenge won't give you what you lost (You didn't lose anything, dah), Why waste time? Move on. Clock doesn't stop ticking. Nobody will be sitting back mourning for your stupidity.  In fact people has their own choice of selection. Even you are beautiful that may not attract the person whom you think you are the best match. So STOP putting middle finger in some one else's life rather than moving on with your own. If nobody cares then, why would they care now? All you need is Anger management. Get a life, if past could help the future then the word Ex may not exist in dictionary. Get rid of past tense.

Part - 2

LLRS victim Male is the most serious one from my point of view. Because this is a diseases even though psychological and not much noticeable, but when the victim got muscle power it becomes gruesome. Consequence on male is much more intense. We live in male driven society so the ego problem they carry with them for life time, we all are pretty aware of. 

I don't want to make this writing a Sidney Sheldon story so don't want to go for any story telling other wise I have 5/6 frightful real life stories. Grown up unmarried girls take a bit time to chose the partner just like a regular guy. They do have a certain choice/taste in case of guys. Lets put it this way, all girls are not really fan of Shahrukh neither all obsessed with Brat Pitt. Same goes for girls when they pick a guy. Some like hot shot rough & tough guys and some like calm quiet. Guys become so different within 2 months of dating unfortunately. it's because they do anything to impress in the beginning. But later on, they dump the fault of break up & also pass a guilt on girls so that they don't poke them any more. Don't you think Girls feels the same? So where is the problem if a Girl say "No" to a proposal? Why it's so difficult to accept? I guess Male ego is the best answer.

I said "NO" to too many guys in my life time (no, nobody has to be a beauty queen to say NO. They were just not for me. Or I was not right match for them). Some times I had to turn them down nicely some times had to take the hard way. So in my short span of life these upset angry young men gave me enough ass aching problems which interrupted my regular life pretty often. During my study of Bachelors I made a record for changing 14 mobile numbers. My friends were really angry back then because nobody bothers calling in home phone. I was almost tired of changing numbers. Every day night calling me from different numbers and saying bad things or sending adult texts can make life really unwell. Later on when I started to maintain strict privacy on sharing my cell number they started cyber bullying or blackmailing or threatening through emails/messengers. Receiving photoshopped naked photos with continuous threat or disgusting anonymous mails became a regular thing for me. I use to break in to tears in the beginning but when one day I received some printed photographs through mail and later some disturbing phone calls, I thought "No way those buggers are going make me upset any more. I won't let them." It was surprisingly sick finding that most of the guys do such things in a group. Means when they get rejected they just go to the closest friends and share the problem and they just comes up with the most dumbest idea of bullying/blackmailing a girl just for rejecting their friend!!! HELLLOOOO Buttheads, don't you think your friend was saved rather then getting upset everyday? My point of strain was, I understand here only one guy was effected but what's wrong with the rest? What they have to do with me?! Revenge for friend? For what?!! It was none of their business for god sake! Don't they just go for their own choice normally? So what is the problem if a girl want to take that decision? 

Let me share a very recent incident. I rejected a guy with may be a higher qualification/high status couple of months back. Reason, he was way too vulgar in terms of talking. I am not his type. It should have been a easy go, because we were not involved at all. What he did was more shocking than surprise for me! He actually implanted a friend of his who is working in a reputed company in a good position to create anarchy in my personal life! Trust me it was more than drama. Earmark was to make me fragile and then the rejected guy will renter so that I can consider his shoulder as a shelter for kindness!! Holy shit! Garbage ideas! Instead of playing such hindi movie Revenge game he just could make himself more useful by finding another girl for himself. Because a grown up girl like me is definitely not a dumb ass. Eventually the friend of that rejected guy came up with his super hero plan of blackmailing me and guess what... I just made him eat his busted face. I warned him with some nice logical word of law and order against blackmailing in our country. Because I damn kept the record what he said. And promised him that I will myself go to the police and handover these if required so better he watch his back (In Bangladesh the Cabinet has approved amendments in the Communication Technology Act of 2006). My question is, did he finally got anything from this Revenge play? I don't see any sef satisfactory point here for him. Because he is now in troll level literally.

These people are so low in case of self esteem because of their frustration, we can't help them until they help himself. Let me give you another classic example. marrying the most beautiful girl most probably every guys mother's dream more than her son's dream. So a girl also has the same dream. If a guy want a girl who looks like Leone, has a brain like Amal Clooney and Rich like Jolie. So of course a potential candidate in case of a girl would expect a guy Look like Bradley Cooper, gifted like Benedict Cumberbatch and rich like Bill Gates. Hai...fair enough, isn't it? So if the LLRS Male Victim if you don't get a wife as I mentioned, you must put a good look on yourself if you match the other side of the story or not.

South Asian countries are already suffering too much for these Mental Retardation every single day. A Male Victim of LLRS need help more than a female since the rate of invaded is way too high. Education starts at home. It's the time for South Asian parents to bring change of thoughts in domestic culture. First teach your son to be a Human being, then a good one, then a Man.  Otherwise sooner or later he'll be also oppressed of LLRS secretly. Life is full of shit, lets not make it more difficult.